Shit & Not Shit Things in Reading

Holidays. Remember those? Sun, sea, sand, sangria, all that. Paprika-flavoured Lay’s, the lot. Good, weren’t they? Yes they were.

Holidays abroad are things of the past, though. You can fly out to Spain or wherever, but don’t expect to be flown back again. Or if you are allowed on a plane, you have to seal yourself into your shed for a fortnight when you get home. Face it – it’s not really worth the aggro.

Going overseas for your holiday might be off the table for the foreseeable, but you can still have a vacation, just make it a ‘staycation’! Stay in the UK. Stay in England. Stay in Berkshire, even. Hey, why not save on petrol money and stay right here in ruddy Reading? Just kip round someone else’s gaff for a bit!

If all that sounds good, but – like so many other people at the moment – you’re on bit of a budget… Don’t worry your pretty, delicate little swede about it. We’ve found the perfect place for you to spend your Reading staycation:

Great Knollys Street!

A fella in West Reading has just the place (well, just the room) for you. That room’s not really a bedroom and it doesn’t technically have a bed, but don’t worry about any of that. It’s £20 a night and it not only has its very own privacy curtain, it comes with access to ‘1.5 shared bathrooms’ (get your nut round that, Carol Vorderman).

Here’s how your host describes the room:

‘This is the lounge in my house. There is a curtain to pull across to separate the room from the entrance hall for privacy. There is a comfortable double futon to sleep on.’

‘Check-in will generally be after 6pm on a weekday as I’m at work and any time on a weekend. Lunchtimes can sometimes work also though. Please note I don’t give keys out, so going in and out during a week day generally won’t be possible.’

‘Please let me know if any issues at the time, rather than waiting for review time!’

Bit passive-aggressive at the end there, but a wonderfully succinct explanation of what guests can expect. Which is a lounge, a futon and a curtain. But not keys. Which isn’t ideal for people who like the idea of ‘going in and out’. But is fine for agoraphobics or, ironically, anyone quarantining after a foreign holiday.

Those are the words of our host, but what do previous guests make of the holiday lounge? Well, here are a few choice excerpts of reviews left on  the Airbnb listing*:

• ‘The living room has a curtain which gives you a lot of privacy, it is like having your own room!’
• ‘The layout in the lounge works well to make it feel like you have your own room.’
• ‘The sofa is quite comfortable. Steven was helpful and communication was fluent. The only big complaint that I have is cleanliness. The place (all of it) was filthy, so I would not recommend it to anyone who likes to stay in at least an average clean place.’
• ‘Cleanliness could slightly be improved.’

• ‘The host is a huge AC/DC fan so the place is accordingly decorated! 😀 ‘
• ‘Unfortunately I had quite an unsettled sleep due to the noise from Steven and his friends coming back after a night out which was frustrating, so maybe not a recommendable place to stay if you’ve got a busy following day.’
• ‘I just wish he made less noise when coming back from his night out as I got woken several times by loud voices and slamming of doors.’
• ‘Was ok.’

What more could you want from your holibobs, eh? Fairly certain that off-licence on Great Knollys sells paprika Lay’s too.

*We cherry picked the bad comment for comic effect. They’re all genuine, but so too are all the various positive reviews and comments (which far outweigh the negative).