Shit & Not Shit Things in Reading

Oh, hi. You’re back. Nice to see you again. Well, nice to see some of you back, at least.

In Part 1 of our track-by-track review of the 2008 2-CD compilation album ‘100% Reading’, we took you through the first 19 tracks from local bands off of the olden days.

Here, in Part 2, we give to you our thoughts on the other half. Which makes sense, doesn’t it?

Ably assisting Uncle STiR this time are this crack team of co-reviewers:

• Caversham gent and marrow worrier Stewart Harding
• Mr. Reading Music Man himself Damian A. Passmore
• Swineshead & Napoleon, the likely lads from the I Like It! podcast
• He’s from Norfolk, but don’t hold that against him – Jimmy Young
• He’s from London, do hold that against him – Jon ‘Horse’ Horsley
• Esteemed Thug Bible columnist Pat McDevitt
• She found the CD, so blame her for all of this – Texas M. A. Smith

Where I could find a video, I’ve embedded it. Where there’s no YouTube clip, you’ll just have to imagine what the song sounds like.

CD#2

1. Headlove – Too Bad
I feel a mildly desperate earnestness here. It feels full of an undercurrent of questions. Why aren’t they already supporting the Red Hot Chilli Peppers on a worldwide tour? Like, seriously, why? They got their cow bell to tappity tap on; where, oh, where are the goddamn groupies? And when the fuck can they pack in their shitty jobs at DFS? Fucking angry about it. Listening to  all that useless pop crap that makes it up the charts. It makes no fucking sense. And there. That is what we learn from this song. Life is shit and you’re never going to make it. So why are you bothering at all…? (Tex Smith)

Rating: 42% Reading – A bit too bad.

2. Feud – Spilt Milk

Fuzzed-up guitars was definitely the thing back then in 2008, along with a snarly, snarky type of vocal. There’s great drumming on this track, though – the rhythm section is tight and belts along like an enraged rhinoceros. The song is a reminder of how angry and nasty fucked-up young people can be. Again, I’m not sure what the problem is but I definitely detect some dissatisfaction with the way life is panning out for these guys. It’s not bad for its type but I’d have enjoyed it more if it didn’t feel quite as much like getting punched repeatedly in the face. (Stewart Harding)

Rating: 50% Reading – There’s no use doing anything over Spilt Milk.

3. Boydidgood – You, Me and the Other Three

What is authentic? Jean-Paul Sartre thought jazz was authentic because it was African-American and not western culture, which was saw as mainly inauthentic. But then Theodor Adorno loathed jazz and thought it inauthentic because it was only concerned with appearance.

Jazz aside, Martin Heidigger came to think that technology made things inauthentic.

There’s no getting around the fact that on this song, Boydidgood sound like another band who were extremely popular at the time. That doesn’t stop me enjoying it and I’m certain if Heidigger went to the Dublin Castle and heard them playing it (acoustically) he’d like it too. Sartre and Adorno? Who knows? Who knows? (Jon Horsley)

Rating: 62% Reading – These chilly primates probably looked good on the dancefloor n 2008.

4. The Bandinis – Japanese Radio
Jangly jangly jangly, bangity bangity. You know the intro, yeah? These guys have not been on Japanese radio. They haven’t been to Japan. The song aches of escaping Reading to a mysterious place such as Japan, though. Maybe they’ve walked past Sushimania on the way back from the Hexagon a few times and thought, ‘oh yeah, we really should go there, but Bryan said it wasn’t great and Kate said the service was a pain… Looks like a bargain though?’ Mate. It’s not going to happen. Yo Sushi do those cheap Blue Monday deals. You’ll end up there again. It’s nice and central, after all. (Tex)

Rating: 77% Reading – Not quite Radio Ga Ga, not quite plasterer’s radio.

5. The Colours – Sinking Ships
Twinkly pianos. Fuzzy guitars. Lots of cymbals crashing. Harmonies. This song has all of these and more. It’s all very late-00s – a little bit Killers, a little bit Razorlight, the whole “singing in your own accent” thing that was popular for a while. There’s even a bit that feels musically similar to that Bond theme Chris Cornell did. The lyrics might be about a break up or possibly staying together – I kinda lost track in the “best of 2008” musical soundscape, but there’s something about Sinking Ships not dragging them down. Or apart. Or something. But it’s fun enough to enjoy. (Damien Passmore)

Rating: 82% Reading – Like a slightly better Keane (the band, not the psychopathic midfielder).

6. DissolvedIn – Egocentric

Unfortunately, this sounds a bit like Lostprophets which makes everyone feel a bit queasy these days. It’s not DissolvedIn’s fault but they’ve also conjoined two words in their name the way that Ian Watkins’ band did (not the Steps Ian Watkins – Lostprophets’ Ian Watkins). As a result, too many icky memories here.

VERDICT: Sorry, but we don’t like it. (I Like It! podcast – listen to it here)

Rating: 26% Reading – Lostprofits.

7. One Dollar Peep Show – Under Your Skin
This the band that Nigel from Vienna Ditto was in before Vienna Ditto. You can definitely hear his guitar in there, amongst the 60s-influenced vocal stylings and handclaps. There’s a lot going on here – it sounds a bit less 2008 and a bit more 1998, when there was still a lot more faux-60s stuff going on – but not in a distracting way. Every new synth riff, every new vocal effect, every change of pace seems perfectly in place. If this was the theme to an Austin Powers movie or the Reeves & Mortimer version of Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased) it would’ve been a MASSIVE hit. But it came a bit late for that, so it wasn’t. Listening the this, I regret never seeing this band live. (DP)

Rating: 98% Reading – High quality M&S Elastica-ted underpants.

8. Georgee – Could I Be the One?
I can’t help thinking that the title needs a question mark, as does, unfortunately, the track. It doesn’t seem to know what it wants to be – a folk song, a sentimental love song, a schmaltzy ballad? The guitar has a nice tone and there is some sympathetic drumming but the singing wavers uncertainly between styles. It’s all a bit sickly sweet for me and I can’t think what combination of recreational drugs might’ve helped me enjoy it more. Novichok maybe. No, that was unfair. Georgee was obviously very young when she recorded this and feeling her way into her own style. Good luck to her. She’s probably a retail manager or estate agent by now but not many estate agents can say they’ve got a track on a definitive compilation of Reading music. Can they? (SH)

Rating: 40% Reading – Averagee.

9. Mighty Man – Represent

“Represent” is repeated three times, seven times in a row so, doing the math (7×3=21) that makes twenty one represents before Mighty Man reveals who he’s even representing. Fortunately, he is representing RG1 so that’s all good. But making people do maths is annoying, so marks off for that. How many marks off? (6×78 – 467 = number of marks taken off. (See? I’ve made my point)).

Mighty Man is miles better at rapping than he is at cooking and his food looks okay, so it’s a fine song. Our pal Jonny Virgo from CD1 pipes up once again – still looking for his big break. If this radio version didn’t make it onto 210FM then more fool them. (JH)

Rating: 90% Reading – Mighty Man used to be everyone’s favourite bouncer at the After Dark. REPRESENT. 

10. Ed West – Dank Days

The title of this track doesn’t promise a whole lot in terms of light entertainment. And, boy, it delivers what it doesn’t promise. It’s the sort of thing that someone probably enjoyed putting together in his bedroom between savage bouts of pulling his pud. It’s crusted with post-masturbatory regret, la petite mort – the sensation of post orgasm as likened to death – that the French existentialists are always snivelling about. It’s also reminiscent of the toothache that comes with an abscess. I’d have enjoyed it more in an opioid-induced coma. I hope Ed West has cheered up a bit. (SH)

Rating: 50% Reading – Wank Ways.

11. Somebody’s Mind – Going Down in Fear
You gotta love a song that commits to a long build-up. Twangy guitars, swinging hi-hats and then the reverb-heavy vocals come in. And then… wow. It changes direction and becomes something VERY different. Sparse. Angry. Dangerous. Like being in somebody’s mind when they’re going down in fear, you might say. If anything, this song seems a little ahead of its time – it’s all very Last Shadow Puppets meets Nick Cave on a windy night in, oh I don’t know, Chatham Street Car Park. It’s great. (DP)

Rating: 86% Reading – ‘Going Down in Fear: The Monica Lewinsky Story’.

12. Vivacity – Casino
Craps is a popular game at casinos. Not that that’s relevant to Vivacity’s 2.5 minute gamble house shout piece, of course. A tom-whacking, One Way or Another-style guitar intro tees us up for a passionate tribute to Reading’s ever-popular Grosvenor dice joint. Liam Gallagher adds gravitas on guest vocals. (JY)

Rating: 70% Reading – When the fun stops, stop.

13. The Vibes – Maybe
If you’re going to put the bass that high in the mix, lads, you’ve got to know what you’re doing. And I’m not sure they do. This is a little too twee, a little trying-too-hard to sound sincere, and I’m not sure the drummer got the memo on that. I don’t know if the problem is in the song-writing or the production but the elements just don’t quite work together. I guess I just didn’t get a good vibe from it. (DP)

Rating: 32% Reading – Maybe not.

14. Bidgie Reef and The Gas – Umbrellas

This is a a tuneful little number that owes more than a little to early 1970’s David Bowie. Sadly a rather weak lead vocal from none other than Roger ‘Dad of Kate’ Winslet and some hackneyed Ian Dury-style lyrics make it somewhat jarring. A decent enough effort overall, though. (Pat McDevitt)

Rating: 64% Reading – Not quite as catchy as Rihanna’s version.

15. Mr. Phlo – Ban the Bomb
Oh good, it starts with a loud police siren to ease you in. The great thing about this song is that the siren comes back during the chorus, because as a sound, well, it’s just not been used enough as has it? Musically, that is. And why not? It’s recognisable and iconic. Yeah Elton John, even you think of this.

I can only cope with catching a few words here and there but they are sort of angry about everything, but also, they’re angry from a deep sofa. Sort of like those people in Facebook comments who you think ‘OMG why are you so angry about something so innocuous?!’ They don’t even proofread what they’ve typed before submitting FFS. CAN YOU IMAGINE.

I don’t know if this band wanted you to have a headache as part of the takeaway of this song, like maybe it’s a layered emotion they are sharing, is this what future music is? If so, these guys were ahead of their time.

Though, I never quite worked out why banning the bomb (which bomb? Dammit, it was hard to concentrate) and police sirens were a good mesh. Maybe I’m just too fucking middle class and privileged. I am SORRY, alright? OMG. (Tex)

Rating: 31% Reading – Ban the song, more like.

16. The Limes – Sun
Here we go, an elephantine plod beat over which there is a breezy, playful vocal that reminds me of dropping acid at Virginia Waters having seen a string of elephants walking up Ascot High Street (for real). At last a band that sounds as though being young might be fun and being alive might contain a little sprinkling of sparkling delight and beauteous wonder. Well done The Limes. I would have enjoyed it more if I was tripped out on magic mushrooms and riding my bicycle through the woods on a sunny day. It’s nice. (SH)

Rating: 90% Reading – SubLime.

17. Inimitable Dragonfly – Don’t Follow Me
Who’d imitate a dragonfly, anyway? They’re shit. Alright, they’re better than normal flies, but they’re not a patch on actual dragons. No one imitated Inimitable Dragonfly, either. Or followed them. Listening to this, you can see why. (STiR)

Rating: 44% Reading – Just not a very good song.

18. Matt Tanner – Selma
Lee Dorsey’s Working In A Coal Mine, Steve Harley’s (Come Up and See Me) Make Me Smile Garbage’s Supervixen, The Auteurs’ Showgirl and Matt Tanner’s Selma. All of these songs utilise the much under-used song-writing technique of stopping in the middle and then carrying on. Who doesn’t love a gap? It’s fun. Liberating. And it can fool people who don’t know what’s happening, resulting in a ‘Reverse of Kings’*. If I was Selma I’d be happy to have this blissed-out instrumental groove written about me.

* In the Come And Praise classic “Sing Hosanna To The King” where someone not paying attention would always add a final “of kings” to the hymn, eliciting much laughter pre-internet. (JH)

Rating: 92% Reading – Everyone loves          a gap.

There you go, that’s your lot. We got there in the end, didn’t we?